Recognising some of the indicators that you might be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) can cause mixed feelings; it can be a relief to understand why you feel as you do, but you might also be worried about having a ‘label’. My first blog, “Highly Sensitive Person, Am I One?” gives further information on what might indicate that you are an HSP.
If you think you might be HSP, here are some ideas that might help to make life easier for you.
1. Recognise Your Tribe
Knowing that around 20% of people share this trait can be a relief, because often Highly Sensitive People (HSP) feel ‘different’ and ‘misunderstood’. It can be hard for non-HSP to know how to deal with your strong emotional reactions, and they may not understand why you need lots of time to rest and recuperate after a social occasion. (You can find out more on Relationships as an HSP here).
The 20% figure means that roughly one in five of the people around you, are experiencing the world in a similar way to you; you are not alone! This on its own can help! And HSP often make excellent friends; loyal, good listeners, empathic…
2. Play to Your Strengths
At 1.59m I am realistically too short to be on a netball or basketball team, and expecting me to play would be setting me up for failure. Luckily, my netball teacher recognised this, and taught me to referee, which, it turned out, I was quite good at!
Being HSP is like that. There will be situations that you find exhausting and overwhelming, but there will be other situations that let your HSP gifts shine. As much as possible, create your life to suit your strengths.
The scientific term for HSP is Sensory-Processing Sensitivity (SPS), and that says it all; putting yourself into positions where you will be overloaded with sensory stimuli will take its toll on you. So it’s fine to go out to a concert for an evening; your heightened senses may well mean that you enjoy it more than your non-HSP friends, but expecting yourself to work in a similar situation for 40 hours a week, might well result in you feeling awful.
3. Rest is Not a Sin
We are constantly bombarded with ideas about what we ‘should’ be doing with our lives. Often, even our down time is caught up in this;
- Go out with your friends!
- Live in a beautiful house!
- Cook and eat healthily!
- Sleep eight hours a night!
The pressure is on to ‘perform’, even for our rest and relaxation times. The key here is to understand that this is YOUR time, so YOU get to choose what to do with it. It’s absolutely OK to lounge around in your pjs for a day, whilst watching reruns of Friends (or whatever takes your fancy) if that’s what will help you to feel restored. Others might not understand or agree. They don’t have to! Rest means allowing your HSP mind to free-range (it’s highly unlikely to switch off), and there are no rights or wrongs about what you should or shouldn’t do. You are in charge!
4. Be Gentle With Your HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP) Self
HSP are often kind, empathic and understanding of others, and judgemental, harsh and critical of themselves! You might have picked up messages through life that have made you think that you should be less sensitive, more robust, less affected by ‘things’. Sometimes those messages stay with us, and we use them on ourselves when we have trouble.
A tip here is to listen to yourself! Sometimes those messages flow through our minds without us even being aware of them. When you ‘tune in’ to yourself, you can catch those unhelpful thoughts, and reframe them. It can be useful to ask, “Would I say this to my best friend?” If the answer is no, then it’s probably not helpful to say it to yourself either. Catching these thoughts can be tricky, and take practice, but it is possible to change how you treat yourself over time.
5. Fill Up Your HSP Senses
HSPs experience the world in glorious technicolour, and that can be overwhelming. It can also be amazing. An important factor here is choice. When I commuted on the London Tube, the crowds, noise, lack of air and smells were overpowering and uncomfortable, but I had no choice. In contrast, standing in a crowded cave under a waterfall, which was also cramped and deafening, was an incredible experience that I won’t ever forget. The first example had no choice, took place daily, and (seemingly) had no end, but the second was something I chose to do, once.
Using mindfulness can help you find those ‘waterfall’ moments. You can choose to notice beauty in nature, a friend’s laughter, your favourite music, the warmth of the water while you wash up. And choosing to fill up our senses with things that make us go, “Ahhhhhhh!” can help to overcome the times when our senses have no choice.
If You Want to Know More!
These are just a handful of ideas to add to your Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) toolbox. If you’d like to know more, or would like to schedule a free 15 minute “getting to know you” phonecall, please get in touch here.